Thursday, 27 November 2008

Nostalgia

Thank Goodness it is Friday - my head has cleared and finally I am feeling more human!
I have started thinking about what it means to be away from home and away from those I love and cherish more than words can say, I am starting to wonder why I am here...but this could just be a sad bit of nostalgia!
My birthday celebration was fantastic! It was a surprise party, the one where you walk into a deadly silent house only to have your wits scared out of you once everyone leaps out and screams "surprise" In honour of my dark eccentricities the theme was Goth and I was happily welcomed with " House of Fun" by Madness and then a number of Rock classics. I drank copious amount of champagne in blood red flutes garnished with cherries and ate huge amounts of chocolate cake thoughtfully decorated with black icing and silver stars! It was all just too good to be true!
The gifts were personal, meaningful and mind blowing and ranged from handwritten letters of inspiring words, my most favourite perfumes, whiskey and wine (Which I couldn't bring myself to bring back to the Cape - having already traveled that distance already) and the most amazing scrapbook from my angel Mom - of my 30 years on this earth! There were tears...
Anyway I am thoroughly blessed, that is all I can say!


nostalgia  [no-stal-juh, -jee-uh, nuh-]
–noun 1. a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time: a nostalgia for his college days.
2. something that elicits or displays nostalgia.


My lovely dog.


The B day balloons!




The loveliest place in Jozi!


Wednesday, 26 November 2008

I am just a stunning picture of health

Well the flu beat me to the ground this time. My head is heavy and the occasional eruption of coughing and spluttering as caused many a work colleague to keep a safe distance. It feels as though my Joburg trip was a life time ago, it is a frantic time of year. Christmas just round the corner, and a thousand things to organise. I can’t believe my beloved November is almost over! I haven’t had time yet to take up all the “It’s your birthday month” special offers. (The Body Shop had the best loyalty program I have ever fallen for!)
There is so much to catch up on; this sickness has stolen some precious days from me – especially since I am starting to have so much fun in my life and so much fun in this city!

I just have time for two things:.

Damn the traffic department to hell!

and
LIVE TO THE POINT OF TEARS!

Thursday, 20 November 2008

Blah

I am so sick. I can’t hear, I can’t eat without gasping for breath. But I have decided it is a good thing, keeps me distracted from missing my family and friends back home. It keeps the nostalgia at bay.
Come now Friday, quickly…these old bones need sleep!

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

Back in the city

It was a crazy weekend! I have never crammed so much into two days before!! The Joburg sun was bright and hot, the people were awesome! I forgot how many men there are in Joburg and the women…they are tough chickens!
It was AWESOME! As soon as I stepped off the plane, my immune system weakened in the wind and now I am horribly sick – I feel goofy and completely out of it!
I am really looking forward to this weekend so I can recover!

Friday, 14 November 2008

Happy Birthday to me!

14 November 2008

It is a beautiful day, it is Friday and it is my 30th Birthday!

I can't say I feel oder - BUT - no one can mess with me now - I have clout - I am 30!

Exciting times ahead and a weekend of celebrations!


Wednesday, 12 November 2008

The Crystal ball effect

ExMi is giving away a tarot card reading. I have always had a fascination with tarot cards. I was given my first pack of cards by this crazy friend of mine from high school who fell pregnant at 16 and was sent to a single mother’s home in Pretoria. The girl was as wild as they come and would talk me into doing all sorts of questionable things – which is another story entirely. Anyway she decided the best way to make her life more enjoyable in the confines of a home, was blatant stealing.
Six months pregnant, and she was walking out of shopping malls armed to the hilt with stolen goods and hitching a ride home. Sadly she died of an overdose nine years ago – but the cards were a gift from her and I can only believe that she stole them with the kindest of intentions, given her reality at that time! I can’t help but think of her when I think about the tarot, and the day she made me cut my finger so we could become blood sisters.

My first reading had a profound effect on me especially this card which seemed to be the dominant one at the time:
I hope that my hermit stage is coming to an end!

I contemplated getting another reading a while ago, but decided to go see a career psychologist instead – it was a huge massive waste of time and money. The old retired man asked me what I think I am good at and what would I like to do, I was like duh – not work! His advice was to get into something creative – he really dazzled me with his insight!

I like the idea of the cards as a guide; I am attracted to the idea that a picture can tell a thousand words. I don’t believe for one minute that there is anything sinister and evil in this fascination, that is the type of mentality as people thinking devil worshipers lurk around every corner! Ancient mystic arts can’t all be idealist foolishness – can they? It is probably the old goth in me…

What I have learned in my twenties.

*Life really can be full of surprises, from the physical beauty around us to the surprising kindheartedness of people.
*We can always hurt someone, often more than we realise.
*Not everyone is like me, what I deem correct and true is not necessary the same for others.
*People often mistake my passion for being stressful and intense.
*It is always easier being honest, once I have been lied to by someone, regardless how small and seemingly harmless their lie has been – my feelings towards them change forever.
*Fear is common in every human being and is often mistaken for selfishness or arrogance.
*Reading results in a massive subconscious accumulation of knowledge never fully realised but continuously appreciated in the strangest moments. Reading also allows for a much needed rest from reality and refreshes the imagination with possibility.
*Appearance is important. As much as I wish it weren’t true, how you present yourself is how you are judged, people are fast and lazy thinkers. The trick is to reflect your personality into your presentation and not appear superficial.
*There are people who say many things and do nothing. I quickly lose faith in those people.
*It is far more important to listen than to talk, as long as the other person has the same respect – because sometimes I need to be heard.
*I love being on my own, but it is far from the happiness I experience being surrounded by people who sincerely love me. There is also no greater loneliness than spending time with someone who regards your company as insignificant.
*You learn to love someone when you forgive all their faults.
*There is nothing unusual about wanting a fairytale. There are those who have found theirs on this mortal earth and I want mine.
*Hangovers will always ruin your day – unless you are happily in love and get to spend the day in bed with your lover who also likes bad TV.
*Turning thirty is not going to be the end of my world!

There are many more...maybe tomorrow

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

Not too much going on

I think I have indulged in enough dramatics for one week – I am making myself cringe.
It is so windy – I fear leaving this building and taking flight! It has been a very long day and now I am looking forward to a lovely dinner with a friend, a bottle of wine and a good night’s sleep!
As long as I make to my car in one piece.
The answer my friend is blowin in the wind…

Monday, 10 November 2008

Drama queen unleashed

Finally after trying on an exhausting amount of clothes with colour, I finally ended up with items of beige and white and one gorgeous long purple skirt. A tiny modicum of success. I even tried on this amazing looking yellow and black striped maxi dress at YDE, but to my horror the voluminous and sexy shape had been created by a weird tail sewn on the back. It had to be the most ridiculous item of clothing I have ever encountered! I stood for a good couple of minutes holding my tail, looking in the mirror and wondered if the world had gone mad. Anyway colourful clothes are the very least of my troubles!

I am going to be in a state of mourning for the next four days! I know I am being silly, I know I am being dramatic – but hell I will get onto the cheerful balloon of denial and or acceptance once Elvis leaves the building. By Elvis I am of course referring to my twenties!
My rocking roaring, exciting, devastating, tragic and happy twenties. I am saying goodbye to the girl and begrudging saying an unenthusiastic hello to the women.
I will lament, I will be shamelessly bitchy, selfish and irrational. This is a space which allows me to be honest and the truth is I am not happy about turning thirty! I am horrified. Sure it is in the attitude, sure I am my own worst enemy. But flippin hell, I will be over the hill soon, the wrong side of the hill. It all goes downhill. I know it isn’t the same for everyone, from what I have seen and heard some people embrace their thirties like it’s a new pair of jeans, most women look more beautiful and happier and that’s cool– but I cannot go down gracefully – it just isn’t in me!
The man thinks it is hilarious, he of course crossed the hill some time ago and has made peace with it all. The devil in me has him directly in the firing line, the part he has played in my tragic fear of becoming old can never be underestimated! Last night I almost threw a steaming hot pie at him!

Well I must go get a facial – pampering has suddenly taken a more serious role of preservation!

Friday, 07 November 2008

The Random Thought Meme

I have been tagged by the vivacious ExMi and sweet Tay to do this meme: (ExMi recons I need this!)
Word for the week in my head...
Dammmnnnnnnn
Thought for the week in my head...
I am digging this job!
Thing for the week in my life...
GPS, I got soooo lost leaving town because I was trying to drive and read directions at the same time – it’s just not good enough – I need the real McCoy, someone to shout at me!
Song for the week in my head...
Every time someone says something about songs, off she goes again inside my head…or should I just keep chasing pavements…..I WANT TO SCREAM RIGHT NOW
Food for the week in my belly...
is absolute rubbish. I have been eating very little or utter crap. Today I had a cannoli for breakfast. (I really love saying that word,cannoli, cannoli, canolie. Seeing the word written is just not quite as powerful!)
Colour for the week in my life...
Black, always black, can't escape the black…
Smile for the week on my face...
I can’t fit under my desk – my legs are too long! It is hysterical!
Blessing for the week in my heart
I am going home soon, to see my wonderful family and my gorgeous sweet dog! I really miss having a pet…

Okay - I am really not sure who has or hasn't done this - but I tag Sunrise, Rox, Po and Redframe (Who I will forgive not doing it because her big day is right round the corner!)

Here are the rules:
1. Link back to the meme creator (cathjenkin)
2. Link back to me
3. Share your random thoughts list
.4. Tag as many people as you like.

Tick tock...

Damn felt useless today. Had an interesting time in the city last night – My first adventure on Long Street – Thanks to Rox! It was great to meet so many interesting people.
It was quite a weird feeling taking out my blog persona into the real world!

I have had a pretty impressive week and now I fear a pretty boring weekend!
Some of my weekend highlights will probably be
Eastenders omibus
A couple bottles wine
Hopefully, should the sun shine and the pool remain vacant, a bit of tanning
Attempt #2: shopping for some colour

Lot’s of sleep and lots of planning – next week this time I shall be thirty in a different city




Thursday, 06 November 2008

meme x2

I have been tagged by the lovely Rox, so here goes:

1. Sunday Stealing’s McDanger Meme
———————
What are your nicknames?
An old friend calls me Thumbelina – I can’t really remember why?
What TV gameshow or reality show would you like to be on?
Rockstar ‘supernova’
What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD?
Braveheart
What is your favorite scent?
Ja’adore and Opium
If you had one million dollars to spend only on yourself, what would you spend it on?
An apartment facing the sea – although with a million it would probably have to be a like a one bedroom, little, tiny….hell a million really isn’t much these days is it? Okay then a black shiny little sports car! (well that’s if it is rands – with dollars; definitely the beachfront apartment!)
What is one place you’ve visited, can’t forget and want to go back to?
Scotland
Do you trust easily?
Yes – I tend to be quite gullible, maybe in my thirties I will learn!
Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think?
Sometimes I over analyse too much and then I am frozen and do nothing
Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Yes – being treated like a piece of furniture by the man who used to rock my world!
Do you have a good body image?
I don’t think so.
What is your favorite fruit?
Strawberries
What websites do you visit daily?
Blogs, Gumtree, I Google just about everything and go from there.
What have you been seriously addicted to lately?
The sun, my phone, Chardonnay, digestive biscuits and yoga
What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?
Something about chasing pavements
What is your favorite thing to wear?
Long dresses
Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?
Yuk – no, but I do remember those ones with little marshmallows, that was pretty cool!
What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
Think that it is finally my lucky day!
What items couldn’t you go without during the day?
Phone, smokes, my car, handcream and sunglasses
What should you be doing right now?
Working
———————2. Unconscious Mutterings Meme ———————
I say … and you think … ?
1. In love
… what is love?
2. Be my guest… Fool
3. Number one… Must renew my driver’s license
4. Swallowed whole… Oysters
5. 50 percent… happy
6. Made in… heaven
7. Supplement… Vitamin C is very important for smokers
8. Right for… now, it is all about the attitude.
9. Endless… dreams
10. Ceramic… I really should have gone for those classes all those years ago, it was such a cool studio…I can only imagine what I could have made…



Clearing away the dust

So far, so good. I am really enjoying this new environment. I do seem a bit tall for my desk which is quite an odd phenomenon, but I am loving the systems and I am loving the clinical professionalism that leaves me in peace.
What a crazy week it has been! It has been impossible to sit and take stock and with the Joburg trip just around the corner, to do lists are being created in my dreams.


In this spirit of all being new and shiny I spent two hours clothes shopping yesterday with the steadfast determination of buying clothes with colour. It didn’t work! With the purchase of three additional little black numbers, Skip Black is now officially my most used laundry detergent


I am so happy Americans have finally come right – I was really doubtful it was going to happen, especially with their tendency to remain ignorantly happy. Out with the old and in with the new - all around -from my little microenvironment into the world beyond!

Monday, 03 November 2008

New Kid on the block

Day One – all is pretty weird. I am a bit of an emotional wreck. Tired, stressed and people shy. The weekend went by in a bit of blur. Had the most horrific farewell one can imagine – God I am glad to be out of there!

It’s the lovely month of November!