Tuesday, 28 October 2008
Oh well, I have just been forced to curb my spending for a week – thanks assholes!
Then your envy becomes a little demon in its own right, and ideas of quitting the rat race and investing in a beach hut and a beaded necklace business, suddenly seems like a highly plausible option!
Monday, 27 October 2008
Friday, 24 October 2008
Thursday, 23 October 2008
1x Tomato cut into small wedges
Woolies mixed leaf ready-washed salad leaves
Add reduced-fat woollies prawn cocktail at the very end!
I went to the Ambassador Hotel last night and we ate at Salt. It is incredibly beautiful and had the food not been as good as it was, I would have hardly noticed anything else besides the waves crashing immediately below us! It was superb!
My new phone arrived today – through a crisis of indecision I chose the Blackberry Curve. Only problem now is learning how the hell to use it. My guess is I will be pretty occupied for the next couple of days!
I am so looking forward to a beautiful sunny weekend!
Wednesday, 22 October 2008
I am visiting some people in Bantry Bay tonight and really looking forward to the excursion. I would actually do anything these days to break routine.
Had another early night last night, so today I am feeling pretty damn fantastic! The worst thing about going to bed early is I normally wake up at four in morning, exploding with a thousand ideas about my life. The ideas are so brilliant that I end up trying to write everything down, before I go back to bed. Yesterday morning I practically finished an entire power point presentation before 5am.
The termination documents are a constant pain in the ass. If I have to sign one more document or copy my hideous ID photo one more time I will scream!
This is one event I cannot wait for: The Whiskey Live Festival. 5th to 7th November. I have only been once before and loved it!
It is a fantastic opportunity to taste the best of the best, a wee dram of something completely unaffordable!
Come on Sunshine - nearly there!
Tuesday, 21 October 2008
It is cold and windy outside – but the perfect weather for yoga!
I haven’t been able to read a single blog, but intend to make up for it tonight.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream―and not make dreams your master;
If you can think―and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings―nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And―which is more―you’ll be a Man, my son!
by Rudyard Kipling
What a wonderful Poem!
Monday, 20 October 2008
There has been many incredible things this man has brought into my life. He introduced me to the world of gardening; I had no idea the type of therapy there is in sinking your hands into the earth, planting seeds then watching them grow.
He inspired a confidence in me, that I could do anything I set my mind on doing. He was very encouraging and supportive. He also introduced me to an exciting, fulfilling and uninhibited sexual relationship, a world I had not known before. Then our reason for meeting in the first place: the world of food and wine. We have had the most amazing dinners in the most beautiful and respected venues. From fine dinning, to bistro – we have had evenings of great splendour. All these things deepened my love and appreciation for him and what we had together.
Back to the present state of affairs: Unfortunately, he does very little for me in the confidence department, I think the last compliment I received was “You look sunny” and the bedroom is about as eventful as mould on walls.
The hole in the wall we live in, does’t offer much opportunity to garden and finally Saturday night I acknowledged the death of our last shared passion. He had as much charisma as the bread roll on the table. I, as usual, overcompensated for the lack of conversation by turning into Susie chatterbox. All illusions of romance I still had went out the window, when presented with the bill, he split it! What I haven’t yet mentioned is that this was a dinner for our seven year anniversary. I was delighted he remembered I was thrilled he was taking me to a restaurant where I had wanted to go for ages; finally the guy was showing me he still cares. What the fuck – I paid half the bill! Seven years, seven is a bad number, it gives me the creeps.
Anyway Tokara’s food didn’t disappoint. The starters were very uninspiring and rather bland. But the main courses were lovely and the setting is just spectacular! Our table was awful. I just don’t know why you would seat two people at the top of your restaurant, facing the entrance and with their backs against the entire restaurant. They lost our booking, so we got the ass end table. Of course the man didn’t want to make a fuss, so I just had to sit through the irritation, clenching my jaw every now and then. I also don’t dare complain too much, because then he gives me this exasperated look, and I know all will not end well!
Well I need to keep my spirits up this week – its going to be a long one. I have much to do and organise and I am really starting to look forward to my JHB trip in a couple of week’s time.
I want to do a bit of a detox this week, get on the straight and narrow and devote my last remaining days of being twenty something to feeling good and healthy and excited for what the future may hold.
Thursday, 16 October 2008
I really need to drag my ass to yoga tonight.
It is probably due to the draining environment I have sit in for another eight more days, or the realisation that I will be starting a new job soon. (Why the hell didn’t I organise myself some time out???) Everything just seems so uncertain. So contrary to what I had planned and hoped for this October 2008. At home and at work. The distance between the two hasn’t been that easy lately. I left at seven last night, only to be stuck at the scene of a horrific accident on hospital bend. An up-side down car and thousands of flashing lights. And then there is the impending 30th birthday...Oh dear!
So yes – a wee bit of a rut.
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
I tried Samsung for a while, I still feel uneasy remembering how I struggled getting back into the Nokia vibe. Changing my cell phone has climaxed into one of the most important decisions I need to make. I love gadgetry, new inventions, and toys. If somehow a PlayStation found its way into my home, I think I would turn / expand into a very different person!
So now I have made the bold move to turn to Blackberry. The big question is The Pearl or The Curve? I dont need too many fancy things - I just need to love it!
First impression: I would love a phone called The Pearl – it is so sexy. It conjures up images of Pearl necklaces, lace and black velvet. The Curve – well that just sounds like that silly ‘women- only’ gym. Why on earth would you want to go to a gym when there are no men around? Men working hard, lifting weights, doing sit ups, bench presses ….I digress.
High level research findings: There is no 3G on either phone, which is slightly concerning. It looks like The Curve has better GPS functionality. The Pearl also has GPS but it looks like you have to register and pay a monthly amount to access this facility. The Curve is also bigger – with a bigger LCD screen.
I can’t seem to find out which one is newer – that plays a huge factor in the decision. When it comes to choosing a phone for two years – I believe in going large! My phone needs to be the cake, eat the cake and then bake another!
I will continue with the research! What a lovely distraction!
IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY
Thursday, 09 October 2008
The workplace has turned even nastier. There was one girl who I thought sweet, maybe even had potential for some great things – she disappointed me horribly. I am a loyal person, very possibly loyal to a fault and when people disappoint me and let me down, I am always shocked by my reaction. As hard as I try to cultivate a Fuck You attitude on my face, my adrenaline pumping heart always gives me away and shakes me to the core. Up until recently the accelerated heart beat accompanied a maddening rise of heat to my face; somehow I think I have managed to control this little outburst of horrors. But the heart, she just wont tow the line. Anyway it is a little reminder how things do work out in the end. I am leaving; I really don’t need to care.
It will be good if the sun shines this weekend. My legs are practically transparent.
Here’s to the almost end of a long, arduous week.
Monday, 06 October 2008
*Stop feeling so bloody sorry for yourself
*Study like a maniac tonight and pass the exam
*Don’t be disappointed if tomorrow is winter again
*Go to Yoga at least three times this week
*Go to bed early and wake up early; starting tonight
*Stop scowling at people who walk slowly
*Check your spelling
Then when I start to realise that I am actually feeling sad staying within this realm of reality I start to imagine bigger and more extravagant scenarios. Ridiculous things like winning a fully booked and staffed hotel in Italy and dinner with Prince William in Paris, followed by a couple of drinks with Slash in New York! Like publishing an award winning sexy masterpiece of literary genius, where I deconstruct the inner workings of a normal twenty year old female (Normal ; and what exactly is normal? Deconstruction at it’s finest!) I know – pure insanity – but it makes me smile!
The best dreams are those of falling in love. Being in love and feeling completely loved. Sometimes I could curse this silly, soppy, girly and pathetic side of myself, but it is what I want. So yes I spent many hours in and out of dreamland, and often I wished I didn't have to wake up!
'Dreaming permits each and everyone of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.'
Yesterday the distractions were endless. My complex was alive with pool side braai’s, tanning and cocktails. As hard as I tried, I could not focus on Industrial Marketing, (Which now takes it’s place right next to accounting as the most boring subjects I have ever had to endure!)
A glass of wine in the sun or shivering in the sun-less / love-less hole I sadly call home – mmnnn tough one!
So Sunday afternoon was just lovely, because I decided life is just too short and afternoons of sunshine have been too damn rare to waste. I also had a very interesting conversation with an extremely sexy man in tight black shorts!
Today I get the distinctive feeling that the only people working in the city are the cafe / restaurant owners, it is buzzing everywhere! It is such a gorgeous warm day!
Friday, 03 October 2008
This week has sapped every bit of energy right out of me.
The resignation, the emotional abuse, the late nights, the new indulgence of Whisky sours, the long drives home, all the highs and lows and to make matters worse no yoga! This weekend I have a very week resolve to immerse myself in books and stationary.
Right now I just want to sleep and dream. Dream about another world, another life another love!
Thank the heavens and the moon and the stars it is Friday!
Thursday, 02 October 2008
"Man is nothing else but that which he makes of himself. That is the first principle of existentialism."
Jean-Paul Sartre 1946
It is good to start thinking about this again. I feel as though my life has become smaller over the years and this man has had a detrimental effect on how I regard life and reality. It is good to start to feel free again, even though it is just formulating in my mind. I have to start somewhere. There is nothing I want to do more right now than to curl up in bed with a book – but tragically exams start again on Tuesday!