Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Bad deeds do not go unpunished

I suppose it is a bit of poetic justice. I had planned on blogging about my strategic plan of a reign of terror during my final month stint - but it wasn't meant to be. Blog sites have been blocked by the almighty suppressor of firewalls and security checks! But all is not lost! I am happily sitting on beautiful wine farm enjoying the sunset and drinking a glass of wine! It is 06:45pm and still not dark - finally whispers of summer!



I was thrilled to read about one of 302's marvelous cocktail creations under my humble name and I intend to enjoy one of these tomorrow evening, on the wine farm, watching the sun setting! Thanks 302!



All is well. (We have a new Health Minister)

Monday, 29 September 2008

Deliciously new and satisfying

I got the job. Elation, joy and happiness are words not quite big enough to describe the relief. I start in a month therefore it will be a month no one will forget.
Again the skies are grey and the streets are wet, but my there is a wonderful feeling of sunshine and light knowing that my time here has a definitive end!

I am balancing hangover on top of hangover from a weekend celebrating to the max. Grocery shopping on Saturday was definitely the most unsuccessful shopping excursion ever made. In between buying the most ludicrous items one can imagine, I had to have a number of smoke breaks in-between item selection. It was like running a marathon!

There is much to do and many to torment!

I am in the mood for a devilish day!

Thursday, 25 September 2008

and Happiness is...

A fire in September!
Braai Day - rained out!
Politics - What fresh hell is this??
Word of the Day:
Voracity \vuh-RASS-uh-tee\ noun
: the quality or state of being ravenous or insatiable.
Most interesting Stats:
33 884,143 - abortions this year (not including abortions due to maternal health risks)(This actually increased to 33 884,730 - since I started on this post)
This site is mind blowing: Worldometers

Really bad night last night! He was horrible and cruel - apparently I got a taste of my own medicine. I wonder does this make him feel vindicated? He knew today was a big day for me - he knows I have been on an emotional rollarcoaster ride the last couple of days - I dont really know him anymore.

I dont want to write this stuff down, I am so tired!

Monday, 22 September 2008

a little sideline rant

Who the hell is Velocity Call centre and why have they phoned me twice a day offering me a free cell phone, R1000 worth of PnP vouchers and then Insurance? And why does it sound like they are phoning from the back of a truck? Why is it necessary to explain that they are phoning on behalf of Metropolitan life and Autopage celluar? Is this supposed to offer me comfort? Did autopage receive a nice bundle of money for selling my phone number? When is this bullshit going to end? I hope there is no one stupid enough to fall for this crap – because the minute you say Yes – boom you are recorded and the contract is signed – you then end up with God know’s what! It is terribly unethical – it really needs to end.

Velocity Call Centre - I am afraid your guys are doing a very poor job of sounding even remotely authentic!!

Beautiful Cape Town




It is a beautiful day today!!! Summer have you actually arrived???

High Absenteeism has created a lovely peaceful and tranquil environment in the workplace, and this weekend can only be described as 'rustig' which for an English girl is quite an unusual thing to say - it might be the upcoming "National Braai Day ' which I find myself incredibly excited to take part in!!

I know it is Monday - I might make myself sick reading this cheery post tomorrow.

Anyhoo...Here's to Sunshine, warmth, beaches and da mountains

Farewell Mr Mbeki - I don't know much, but I appreciated your dignity and words. I loved your smile and enthusiasm when our boys won! Farewell.

Friday, 19 September 2008

Dream the impossible dream....lah lah lah

Yay, yay, yay – I am very close to getting out of this rat hole! I shouldn’t be counting any chickens yet, but it is looking good and hopefully at the salary I want and desperately need. I just need to stay calm for a while and keep any yelps, jumps and skips carefully contained within myself! I cannot write anymore- I am at my wit’s end!

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Why I love South Africa


I was tagged by Rox and doing this has cheered me up immensly!

Five Reasons Why I love South Africa

1. Our sense of humour

Sometimes we laugh at the silliest things, we make fun of each other and despite coming from a variety of different backgrounds, with diverse cultures, language and religions the average South African can easily crack a joke with a complete stranger!

2. Our sense of Justice

Very often I see the kindness and generosity of strangers assisting fellow South Africans. I have also witnessed the shared anger among people when someone, public or otherwise has been unfairly treated.

3. The humorous banter between cities

This was best encapsulated by the SAA ad. The Cape Tonian talking about the mountain and wine, The Joburg girl with her special brand of Sandton speak and the Durban surfer with his sunshine kissed blond hair.

4. Our adverts, the media

No one will ever forget the Vernon’s Koekemoers bombastic rise to fame based on a pair of shorts and a hairstyle – now embraced by Vodacom and Nandos.
The creation of the word ‘Snice’ thanks to KFC
The beautiful ad’s of Alan Gray and Investec and the thought provoking ads of Sasol.
There are many, many, more – I really think we can be proud of our advertising standards in this country.
Then there is our weird take on celebrities in this country – we just don’t stand for kissing ass if you are a celebrity. We do respect and offer our praise and support, but expect too much and think for one minute than you are better than the rest of us and we will be pissed! – It is so un-American and I love it!

5. The almost unbelievable natural Beauty

‘ I owe my being to the hills and the valleys, the mountains and the glades, the rivers, the deserts, the trees, the flowers, the seas and the ever-changing seasons that define the face of our native land.’

Thabo Mbeki
An excerpt from ‘I am an African’


(I must add: Our Rugby players)

Okay - now I tag: Sunrise, Redframe and Louisa

1. Link back to the meme creator (Caz)
2. Link to the person who tagged you (me)
3. Link back to the originator of the positive SA blog movement (Cheap Thrills)
4. Give 5 reasons why you love SA
5. Tag at least 5 people

Interactions with the office prodigies

"So tell me do the vending machines accept the new R5 coin?”
"Yup.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yup!”
Three R5 rand coins and ten minutes later, after the empty handed trek back to my desk.
“It didn't take the R5 coins.”
“Oh – because usually what I do is use the coke machine downstairs with my R5 coin then cancel my order and use the change upstairs!”
F…U…C…K
“Can I quickly use your PC? My laptop is crashing and I need to finish a report in two seconds” “No Problem.”
Proceeds to get up and locks PC.
“I‘ll be back now.”
Returns half an hour later.
“Thanks”
“Oh, but I thought when you pushed Ctrl + Alt + Delete, it won’t really lock the PC – does it really lock it? Hey guys? Does it lock it…..?”
F…U…C…K

Friday, 12 September 2008

C'est la vie

Okay – enough is enough. Goodbye week. Goodbye 8 to 11 September 2008. There were some moments of joy, some foolishness, some pain and some sorrow. I cleaned, I drank and I had many nights of restless sleep.

Hello Friday – freedom and cocktails. Please don’t let me down! I don’t ask for much – but a sexual encounter would be nice. Or maybe if I could stumble upon a bit of money – somehow, or a free car perhaps?

I could actually be very much satisfied if the sun continues to shine. You need to remember you foolish girl – it’s the little things that count!!


Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata




Thursday, 11 September 2008

Just another night

Well dinner was a flop! I have spent the day feeling foolish at my optimism! Well tomorrow it is Friday so that is good! I intend to end the week with cocktails staring at the sea and figuring out what my next course of action will be! Or maybe it will be inaction...maybe I Will just spend some time in fantasy land!
I am sitting outside, sipping on a martini. The sun is shinning and my hair is behaving. Suddenly the cutest boy with the most amazing smile is kneeling in front of me.
"Hi - I am not sure if you remember me but I am in your yoga class, I have always wanted to talk to you and now here you are! You must let me buy you a drink"
Of course I recognised him - how do you forget such a perfect male body in tight black hot pants- holding the warrior pose like a God of war and pride, of course I recognised the man who had the sign of the Scorpio tattooed on his shoulder-the most beautiful shoulders I have ever seen, and those arms...those hands...now touching mine - softly almost shyly.

Dream Dream Dream!

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Dinner tonight with him. I cant help but look forward to it - I am naive and foolishly optimistic!
Thank goodness today's office hell is at an end and finally it is warm outside!

Yes, Well, No, Fine


A bottle of Asara Merlot, a bowl of soup, a couple of strawberries and I was just fine! I have a clean house and perfection on every shelf!

Finally the sun is shining, albeit a rather chilly shine – it is very painful to think of the people up in Jozi wearing t-shirts and open toed shoes – my God they are probably even swimming!

Okay enough with the dwelling on what’s lacking, time for the inverse:
1. A truly wonderful and diverse family – I can swear in Lebanese, German and Greek
2. A lovely pair of Swarovski earrings from Dubai
3. A beautiful antique treasure chest which holds all my love letters and journals and the silliest things like an old cigarette box with my ex-boyfriends phone number and old till slips from nightclubs in London.
4. A collection of the most beautiful bottles of Champagne gathering dust – I will not touch them in my twenties!
5. I am still in my twenties
6. I am very happy with the effects yoga has had on my backside – it is quite remarkable - I may even splurge and get myself a sexy new bikini this summer.
7. I love reading and will always be grateful for the love of books instilled in me from a very young age – Thanks Mom
8. I can sms, do my make up and have a cup of tea sitting in traffic.
9. I am very good at rearranging furniture
10. I am a fantastic procrastinator!

Tuesday, 09 September 2008

It’s the little things


I am tired today. I need sleep and bedtime is far away,
I am lacking in certain areas

Okaaay. My stuff really needs to get sorted. I have procrastinated the day away and read everything I could type my way into, in-between cigarette breaks. I am tired and along with my severe lack of gusto I am also concerned about the lack of other bits in my life – Like:

1. A Tan
2.Patience
3.A guilt free relationship with SARS
4.Order and perfection in the home environment
5.Patience for the general population and their big ass heavy feet that cannot seem to move as fast as their mouths
6.Sex
7.Patience
8.My side rear view mirror
9.A well stocked fridge with healthy food and good liquor
10.My ability to be easy breezy and smile to all and sundry
11.Sleep – my bed – so far away
12.Budget control
13.Discipline – You are not paid to blog all day women!
14.Patience
15.Sex
16.Patience

This list has just made everything worse – I need some dark chocolate!

I think I may skip the yoga today – I think I might buy myself a bottle of Grouse and necessities. Eat chocolate and spring clean my cupboards! Yes I think that is the solution.

But I have just acquired a lovely word in my in-box

circumlocution \ser-kum-loh-KYOO-shun\ noun
*1 : the use of an unnecessarily large number of words to express an idea
2 : evasion in speech

And there is a mere 72 hours until Friday 14H00

Monday, 08 September 2008

Monday Blues

I swam to work today. Two hours of stop and go. Somehow I have avoided the traffic by leaving later than normal – but today I was stuck in the thick of it! Snails pace – there was a point I thought I would go crazy – when thoughts of just slamming down the accelerator and screaming seemed like a good idea – anything to escape the awful horrific confinement and mayhem of the roads.

It was a lovely weekend of wine tasting and ending with large amount of grappa in front of a fire. I love fires; I can stand for hours and hours just staring at fire. Unfortunately I have arrived at work with the fresh memory of fire still lingering on my clothes and in my hair – oh well!

I am so sad that my adventure into Cape Town didn’t work out the way I had planned. I really believed that I would have been married by now – at the very least engaged and planning my engagement party. I thought we would be spending our first Christmas together as a family in our own home. I think what has shocked me the most and even surprised me is how much this man has hurt me and let me down. Despite everything we went through It just blew my mind that he could treat me so carelessly. It is a very bitter pill to swallow. – I feel so foolish and sick at the mere mention of someone else’s dreams coming true. There is an empty gapping whole in the pit of my stomach. It is hard to step back and look objectively at the situation. It is hard to not feel stupid for allowing myself to get so hurt and for having so many dreams. To really love someone – to plan my future with them – okay you can have me – only to get it thrown back in your face. To have your every fault blown up and presented to you on an ugly humiliating platter of guilt, blame and selfishness. What meant the world to me; he brushed off as dust. I find myself staring at him wondering when the man who loved me will come back. I stare at myself in the mirror and wonder if the girl he loved will ever come back. Who knew I was so tragically romantic?


aarg Monday

Thursday, 04 September 2008

Sixty Niner

Since I have the brain capacity of a gnat today I decided to do these 69 questions: as previously done by Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills

1. What’s worse - Physical or Mental cheating?
I would have to say Physical – sometimes people’s thoughts go to places they shouldn’t.
2. Is it easier to forgive or forget?
I hardly ever forgive and forget, unless I can totally understand the situation
3. Can men and women be ” Just Friends?”
Yes - eventually – my best and closest friends are men
4. Dating co-workers?
Definitely not a good idea – I think it’s better if people at work don’t know too much about you
5. All expenses paid vacation to anywhere?
New York
6. On the way to the electric chair - What’s your last meal?
Oysters, Champagne, a freshly baked white bread with butter ham and cheese. Chocolate mouse and a King Cone
7. Water parks are…?
Where that rave type thing happens in Boksburg?
8. When you are “In Love” do you notice other people?
NO
9. Is flirting cheating?
No – as long as it isn’t my man flirting
10. Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?
1 great friend.
11. If someone called you a bitch would you be offended?
No – ‘When I am praised I am humbled but when I am abused I know I have touched the stars’ Oscar Wilde
12. Are you ok with your significant other being friends with an ex?
Not until I get to know her and see for myself what the dynamics between the two of them are like.
13. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
I didn’t want to – but did.
14. Favorite sport?
Test Rugby.
15. Is toilet paper hung over or under?
Always over
16. Do you squeeze toothpaste from the middle or end of the tube?
I really do try for the end.
17. How do you feel about tanning booths?
In SA - Why? We have sun and beaches...
18. Friends with benefits?
Would love to try it.
19. Do you believe in angels?
Yes.
20. Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?
Take – I am not one iota photogenic
21. Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?
Yes and the aftermath made me terribly regretful and guilty!
22. Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?
1996 New Years Eve White Horse Inn – I kissed many strangers
23. Would you buy bootleg merchandise?
No – the sellers scare me
24. What color looks best on you?
Black, red and white
25. If you could play any sport professionally what would it be?
Swimming
26. Ever break up with someone and regret it?
Yes – He was so intellectual, sweet and sexy and I was a stupid young girl obsessed with finding a guy with a Mohawk.
27. Are you a jealous person?
Yup
28. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
Maybe when I am older and stuff has turned south
29. When do you want to get married?
I thought I wanted to be married now – but I am not so sure anymore
30. Who has the sexiest accents?
Scottish
31. Next concert you’re attending?
Nothing in the pipeline
32. Favorite song?
There is no possible way I can answer that – it would turn into an essay
33. Favorite movie?
The Doors
34. What’s your occupation?
Too boring to mention
35. What’s your sign?
The sexiest sign - Scorpio.
36. Are you a beach, country or city person?
Beach – I flippin love the sea.
37. Best vacation spot you’ve been to?
Umhlanga Durban for two weeks in a penthouse apartment.
38. Have you ever had a “secret affair?”
Yes – it was thrilling
39. If you could own a non-traditional pet which would it be?
A pig.
40. Favorite show as a child?
Smurfs
41. Where do you spend most of your money?
Booze, petrol and ciggarettes
42. Are you currently working at a job that you hate?
YES
43. Have you ever been so heart broken that you called in sick to work?
too often
44. Favorite summer drink?
Champagne
45. Can you change a car tire?
Yes – I think so – but have yet been put to the test and I really love watching men doing car things with machinery
46. Favorite cologne / perfume?
Jadore
47. Favorite candle scent?
Lavender
48. Would you consider yourself adventurous?
Absolutely
49. What is your My Space profile song?
I really hate My Space
50. Favourite concert attended?
5 5fm concert many moons ago with Tracy Chaplin, Midnight Oil (i think?) and Sting. (My word I remember having dreadlocks that day)
51. Would you date an already attached man / woman?
No – I have been at the other end and would never want to cause someone so much pain
52. Would you sing Karaoke in front of co-workers?
Absolutely not (Unless it was like a group effort thing involving lot’s of drinks).
53. Can you shoot pool?
I suck at pool, even though I have played a thousand games and actually really enjoy it
54. Do you like your siblings’ significant others?
No
55. Can you drive a stick?
Yes
56. Did you wear white at your wedding?
I will.
57. Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
Too often
58. Ever skip school and spend the day at the beach?
No Beach; skipped school to do pretty pointless things.
59. Favorite TV show?
The Tudors
60. What do you think about gay marriage?
Yay!
62. What are you waiting for at the movies?
Something good to show
63. What is your favourite holiday?
Christmas day
64. Describe your fighting style: drunken master or angry monkey?
Drunken monster
65. Piercing?
Only ears now but I have had: nose, belly, ears, eyebrow, tongue and my favourite was my lip.
66. Tattoos?
One day soon
67. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Woolies
68. Thongs? yes or no.
Yes – too many I fear VPL
69. Write 2 truths and 1 lie
I really enjoyed doing this.
I have a terrible dislike of many symmetrical dots in one space.
I work in a beautiful office building with lots of plants and inspirational, good looking people.

Twas a good night

The head is swimming.

2x mojito’s
3x Champagne cocktails
1x can’t remember name but it was orange and contained brandy
2x Glass’s White
2x Glass’s red (Meerlust – couldn’t say no)

= Very difficult to type right now – feeling oddly elated. Must look like hell.
Got a speeding fine – must remember to not drive like a maniac after drinking. Silly girl!
I have no idea how I am going to get through the day. I think I need a coffee and something greasy, followed by Vitamin C, more make up and a long ‘staring at nothing’ session.
Good grief

Wednesday, 03 September 2008

Young love turning sour!

She is young. At twenty three she knows cocktails and party’s and is familiar with DJ’s from dingy clubs. She indulges in Crystal meth – a substance I have discovered is far more vicious than any of the evils around at my time! She is spoilt and selfish and is a fan of self promotion. It boggles my mind to think of a girl that age deciding to change her body forever. It boggles my mind, when I think how much my body has changed since I was twenty three. To think that larger breasts will surely bring happiness. I don’t know – I shouldn’t judge – I just don’t get it!
A young girl, wallowing in a pit of contradictions, finding temporary relief in chemicals and self-help books!
I would be inclined to feel sympathy, yet her words have caused great hurt to those I love. She loves to talk; she loves to throw her words around; carelessly.

My Dear,
I believe in Karma and be warned, because when someone humiliates you the same way you humiliated him; I doubt you’ll see it coming. A word of advice; use it / don’t use it: Chill the Fuck out on your empty words. They are no substitute for being a real genuine and sincere person – no matter how dazzling you think your words may be!

Tuesday, 02 September 2008

Winter wardrobe malfunction

Sheez I had to dig deep into my wardrobe this morning. I must have tried on every type of ridiculous outfit my tired and cold brain could think up. At some point it occurred to me to even try the long summer dress with thick black stockings and layers of jerseys. No matter how hard I tried accessorising, the look just wouldn’t come together. Okay – I have had enough of winter. I have had my boots repaired twice, I have dry-cleaned my coat three times and wearing so much black is starting to depress me! To go clothes shopping now would just be ridiculous and to be perfectly honest I would have been happier coming to work in my PJ’s!
So I am sitting here looking somewhat like a frigid librarian – the safe choice – a totally sexless collared shirt, generic blazer, and hair in bun, Yawn, boring, boring – no one would ever guess the shit going on inside my head.

YAY Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills recommended my little blog. Ha Ha – murder on the Dance Floor – not quite what I was going for – but hell it’s mine!

Monday, 01 September 2008

Being back...

Dream sequence:
I arrived home, my car heavy with all my belongings – all I owned or needed in the trunk of my car. He saw me arrive through the window – he watched as I got out the car and began unpacking – maybe he wanted confirmation that I had indeed come home. He held the door open for me as I walked in dragging bags and blankets, shoes and bags of sea shells. He smiled and said ‘Welcome back home baby!”

Reality:
I called him from the car park – I hadn’t planned on arriving so late and the lights were out – with a horrible pang of regret, It dawned on me that he might be asleep – I wouldn’t be able to get in – eleven at night and no where to sleep. So I called him. He sounded grumpy when he asked me what I meant by: I am home? I asked him to help me with my bags, a while later he sauntered down the stairs, took some bags off my shoulders – made a couple of remarks along the lines of: What the hell do you have in here?”
Eventually the torture was over – my bags lay strewn all over the flat. I poured myself a glass of wine – suddenly feeing very awkward and cold. He smiled and being a man of very few words sighed “Oh Well…” Then he went to bed. I fell asleep / passed out on the couch and woke up at about three in the morning. It was freezing, it was hell. I went to bed and lying beside him I burst into tears. He didn’t wake up.