Wednesday, 16 April 2008

The State of nothing

I have been struggling to write lately. I think it is partly because I am so exhausted after almost two weeks of visitors and restaurants and too much wine and partly because every time I write I remember the reason for wanting to keep this blog. In all honesty I was supposed to have a ring on my finger and planning my wedding right now. That was the plan that was the reason I came to Cape Town. So far it hasn’t happened. There have been fights and arguments then a period of acceptance and then times of something close to contentment. On one hand I feel angry about waiting for something that is not really in my control and yet on the other hand we have spent a year killing and loving other, all in the name of getting used to being in each other’s space. I am still waiting, but lately I have become more confident. This time has afforded us to make some very exciting decisions in regards to the rest of our lives. It has also given me some time to really grow up and try to think clearly.

I always have a great sadness when I think of my family, not being there for them. Living a life they didn’t want for me and I always wonder what would have happened if I didn’t come with him to Cape Town. Maybe I wouldn’t appreciate my family the way I do now?

I am tired, I am lost at work and I have a million and one things going through my head.
The best stuff:
Eating dinner with my family at the French Connection in Franschhoek – The duck was stupendous!
Sushi at the CTFM in Stellenbosch (Fishmonger -you silly bastards, you really lost a good customer – imagine only have a sushi chef on certain days of the week and then to make matters worse, the one dish I was prepared to have instead of sushi wasn’t you know what, if you have a menu and you cannot provide more than 50% of the items on the menu – tell your customers as they sit down, on the phone – or fucking close your doors)
Four sleeps to our very romantic night in Franschhoek! Reservations have been made and I feel a little yelp of excitement coming when I think of the food, the wine, the oysters and the CHAMPAGNE!!
Our first night we are going to: Le Bon Vivant and the second night: Bouillabaisse which I have heard is AMAZING. I cant wait!
The upcoming public holidays!
The bad stuff:
Going outside and stand on the kerb in order to have a cigarette. The street bums annoy me tremendously and there is nothing sadder than watching a grown man collecting stompies from the street.
Women who brush their hair in elevators; it really makes me feel ill!
So many pregnant women who barely look sixteen – where are all these babies being kept? There is a girl at work who hasn’t stopped smoking 7 months into her pregnancy. What the fuck…
I haven’t started studying; I am officially in shit for the exams next bloody month!


Louisa said...

DT, I hear you on that exam business! Eeeeep! I'm trying very hard not to think about it at all...

Who are you studying through anyway?

DT said...

I am studying through UNISA! The days are just going too quickly, my first exam is on the 6th of May - I am STRESSING!!!

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