Tuesday, 05 February 2008

Murder Most Foul

In so many ways I wish I hadn’t watched it. What a hectic documentary. Those poor boys - my heart breaks! I feel ashamed to have allowed myself to be lulled into a period of denial. Wasn’t I supposed to think for myself? Do I not regard myself as intelligent, capable of reasoning and reading between the lines. How did it happen? One minute I was ranting and raving about the hell we have to live with on a daily basis, then I was persuaded it is not all that bad, be proudly South African! We won the rugby, I even brought a rugy shirt and sang the anthem.Spent some lovely days on the beach, carried on wearing blinkers and forgot!

The stress and fear that lies in waiting at the back of our minds. How when something triggers that fear, we draw on it immediately. Waiting for someone to arrive, Waiting for your gates to open at the bottom of the driveway. Focussing on getting your key in the car door as quickly as possible, inevitably shaking and taking longer than normal. The sudden flood of fear when you realise you have stopped too close to the car in front of you and there is another car right up your back side, watching all mirrors at once. In your fear you visualise what he will look like, how it will happen, you think of as many escape routes as possible, all these survival techniques...in a space of a few minutes before the lights go green...We drive away and fear returns once again to his easily assessable home in your mind.

What we live with is unacceptable! How did we suddenly stop talking about it - dumb ass Safety and Security Minister Charles Nqakula -you freakin asswhole! I am glad your speech and stupid words are going around the world - they can whinge until they are blue in the face!!! Asswhole!!

There is a sickness here. What these people are doing to babies, children, women. The vilest acts of humiliation, rape and brutality. Happening EVERYDAY!!
Poverty, apartheid, the most disgusting street drug, gangsters and cheap disposable lives of human beings. Whatever the reason...this cannot be acceptable.

It is the South African Tragedy, it is not a very good way to live!

Please God keep all those I love safe!

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