Wednesday, 16 January 2008

My road to hell: Paved with the best of intentions!

It is lovely today. The rain is soft (and curls my hair beautifully) It is slightly overcast with the sun making an occasional appearance. The air is fresh and free from dust. I love summer rain. Happening so seldom here - it is a real treat!

Last night I had my evening schedule neatly written on one of my favourite bright Pink Post-its. The plan was a clean evening, Tea and Rusk’s. Doing three loads of washing and sitting at my laptop with a couple of hours for work and a couple hours on catching up with Journals, FB and the like. I was going to get my clothes ready for today(as I have been dressing like shit lately) I would go to bed early with a cup of tea and read until about 11pm then fall asleep. Wake up early, fresh and ready to work my backside off today!

Sadly my adorned Post-its never left the plastic sleeve.

On the way home I realised that I needed petrol. In keeping with ‘get to work bright and early’ game plan, I knew I had to fill up right there and then. It was a standard request: "Please fill the tank and check the oil and water."
"No problem baby.” Was his reply.
I went into Woollies, got my ‘alternative to wine’ snacks and stocked up on lots of healthy, fat free yogurt for the week. I am encouraged - everything is going along nicely. I got into my car where Mr smooth operator asked me to switch on my engine and then proceeded to pour water into my extremely hot and tired little car. I knew this was weird...I tried to phone my man - as usual no answer... I am fine. I am hearing a bubbling noise, maybe it is the wind. I carry on driving, finally I notice my temperature gauge climbing at quite an alarming rate - I cant stop staring, I forget that I am in fact still driving on a highway. I phoned my man on his work phone and rather nervously told him the about the smooth operators weird antics, he tells me to stop my car - I tried to tell him that I am driving through the sticks - no honest mans land - then my battery went flat.
I crawled to a semi civilized part of the road I switched off the engine - The bubbling noise was sounding furious and frightening.
"Ok, ok stay calm this is rural, the police will come, my man will come – surely."
Getting out the car wasn’t an option, even though I was starting to fear an explosion of some sort - Even though I know sweet bugger all about cars, when the bubbling seemed calmer , I started the car and drove painfully slowly until I could see the familiar dirt road entrance to the farm. I was thrilled to see one of the farm workers,I blurted out my car problems and a my dead cell battery dilemma, asking if I could borrow his - Dumb Ass - not only has the guy never spoken a word of English before in his life, but owning a cell phone is as alien to him as the words I am shouting.

I contemplated leaving my car at the top of the dirt road - snakes and Nine West shoes not a great combination! Eventually I made it, ran inside dragged the man outside. No train smash, it just had to cool down!!! He offered me a drink and even in the face of my last hour of super psycho paranoia and fear, I refused. "It is a clean night for me!" I proudly if not shakily told him!

I was scheduled to be home at six, I now got home at eight. I started the first load of washing. I thought about making Risotto. It occurred to me that maybe my man may be able to come home for dinner since business was quite. So I started chopping onions. My eyes are burning, the washing is lying all over the bat cave and I need some wine – not for me for the Risotto – the problem is all I have is my lovely Meerlust 95 Chardonannay, which really deserves a better placement than combined with rice!
It’s going onto 10pm. I haven’t touched my laptop and I still have two more loads to complete.
With ridiculous determination to complete my Risotto I drove to the farm to collect some wine, drove back home – waited 15minutes for the security guard to open the gate for me (Bathroom break, or nap time I suppose)
Made my risotto. Flipping hard work. Thirty minutes of constant stirring, pouring, grating and temperature control. At two in the morning I finished my last load of washing and on top of the half unfinished bowl of Risotto I also managed to consume one and a half bottles of white wine (I ended up opening the Meerlust after all)
Today, I look like shit, my man is angry at me because of the drunken abuse he had to endure on arriving home to find me surrounded by pots and pans and buckets of washing.

Well at least I have plenty of left over food for dinner tonight and clean clothes!

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