Thursday, 25 January 2007

Thinking about home

It wasn’t that long ago. It was Christmas Day, and the thunderstorms were relentless. I loved being back home in Joburg. I loved the cool mornings and the beautifully dramatic thunder and lightning.

I can’t say I am looking forward to going *home today. Outside these doors the wind blows like a nasty, cheap hair dryer. Hot, too hot, this kind of heat can only have the most severe adverse reaction on humankind: Congested roads, gladiator winds and thousands of angry people melting in their car.

Five things I miss the most about Joburg:
1. My beautiful house, garden and ceiling fan!
2. Driving to my folks for home cooked dinner, a couple of whiskies and conversations that bring me back to earth.
3. The coolness of the sunset at a reasonable hour of 6 to 6:30PM.
4. My shabby little Randburg office with all the professional, friendly, Joburg smiles.
5. My local cocktail bar and local Woolies were I would inevitably bump into someone from my dangerous past. (And inevitably remember how cool and thin I once was!)

Five things I am enjoying about Cape Town:
1. Wine Farms, Wine Farms and wine farms.
2. It really is beautiful.
3. The air, especially when I can smell the sea.
4. The tourists are a great source of amusement. The tour guides and their fantastical interpretations of history.
5. People coming to visit me on their holidays. This is great for two reasons: Everybody is happy and super chilled (obviously because they are on holiday) and secondly when they say goodbye, you go home and they get on a plane – How many holidays have we said to each other – wouldn’t it be great to live here.

Coming home tonight, I can’t help thinking I am a bit of a weirdo!

Realizing that tonight was the final of ‘The Apprentice’ I was absolutely justified in going to Woolies and buy an innocent, beautiful, bubbly, little bottle of MCC. It is after all Thursday, another reason to celebrate. (One more miserable day left of fresh hell)

My intentions were honorable and yet somehow I came home with not one little bottle but two (in case I felt regretful after finishing the first one) One 750ml bottle (Because I might as well…for the weekend) a sushi meal for one, a bowl of raspberries, multi-grain crisps and dip, hot cross buns, Pomegranate Juice and the new Eat Out magazine!!!

I really need to get out more…this is really sad!

*It doesn’t feel like home yet. My heart is still in the big city.

Comet McNaught

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

One hell of a week

I woke up at 3am, completely disorientated. It was hot as hell – at 3am in the morning. Not even a breeze.
I don’t know how to cope in this heat. Give me winter rains and dark skies any day!!

It is time to make the big decision.
Do I quit the corporate world; take a drop in salary for the sake of a better quality of life???
I actually doubt the validity of that statement. By being able to comfortably afford various luxuries – also results in an improved quality of life. I hate the drive to work each morning, but couldn’t this possibly be improved by driving a Mercedes. I love my weekends off – this will remain a constant, however with a bit of available capital, surely weekends away at an exclusive spa and indulging in a couple of bottles of Bollinger will bring a smile to my face.
But then I do have to recognize that I never feel as though I am earning enough money. I have climbed, I have received my promotions and I have received many increases and yet I still feel like an underachiever. The big 30’s cloud is hovering, and I cannot decide on a path?

Where can you see yourself in five years time?

This is supposedly the question you ask yourself when contemplating some career / future planning / goal setting / type thing.

You should love what you do

Reach for the Stars

Never stop dreaming

Blah, blah, blah…none of that nonsense helps.

In the face of such uncertainty, I have settled on two possible solutions:

I need answers; I need someone to figure me out. I need to find solutions that have not been influenced by my subconscious manipulations.

1- A Tarot Card Reading OR 2 – Career Psychologist

I have decided on the psychologist, as this means I will get all sorts of IQ tests, and I can find out if I am, as previously surmised, a genius!!

Friday, 12 January 2007

The Friday that refuses to end

I am so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open. I cant help feeling sorry for myself, being stuck in the one department that refuses to go home early on a Friday. The only department in this massive, evil, giant corporation and the only one, miserable department in the entire city. Cape Town is famous for early Fridays - yet here I sit with all these miserable bastards!

Yesterday - I took the plunge! Kitted in my new tracksuit pants and horrible white gym top, I walked out the complex gates, armed with a cigarette. (I know it sound ridiculous, but I felt too weird leaving the house without a cigarette in my hand) I ran to the end of the road, I must have jogged past five houses, I became alarmed at the thundering of my heart and the sudden urge to collapse turned around and half jogged, half walked back home. Shameful! Embarrassing!! But I won’t give up, next time I will be longer than 10 minutes!!!

Today I had my innocent yogurt with muesli and strawberries, followed by carrot salad and pineapples for lunch at ridiculous cost of R8 for a bowl of carrots. Then I destroyed my angelic behavior by eating a packet of Smoked Beef Simba crisps.

I can’t wait to get into my car. To put on my shades, to listen to the radio and to say F*** all of you, I am going home!!

Monday, 08 January 2007

Back at Work

Last night I wolfed down an entire pizza, with gorgonzola cheese, sundried tomatoes and capers. I feel horribly huge – I am at the point of no return!!!

Starting Monday 15th January – new lifestyle changes will take effect.

1. No more drinking during the week. If the desire to indulge hits me after being stuck in hellish traffic after work then a glass of white wine and soda will have to suffice.
2. Start work at 7am as often as humanly possible.
3. Go to gym at work, during lunch time or late afternoon.
4. Start jogging.
5. No more pizza once a week – this needs to be reserved for a once a month treat.
6. Cook more meals at home.
7. Take many small meals to work.
8. Buy and eat lots of fruit.
9. The rule of 8: Eight hours of sleep and eight glasses of water a day.
10. Replace bread with (yuk, yuk, yuk…) rice-cakes.

Ultimate goal: To loose +- 8kgms

Unrealistically hopeful: 15 February
Hopeful: 1 March
Realistic: 1 April
Necessity by the 1 May!!
Celebrate by buying one of the gorgeous new YDE dresses.

Friday, 05 January 2007


Last year was unbelievable.
I cannot believe how much my life has changed.
Therein lies the reason for this blog.

I have kept journals since I was in Primary school. A happy, innocent girl, obsessed with a Rugby player a year older than me, who would make me blush by just glancing in my direction. The days of pink legwarmers, long T-shirts with a pink belt and ‘ski-pants’. Unbelievable, it’s made a come back!!!

High school, the legwarmers were substituted by 14 hole Doc’s and an obsession for Slash, soon followed by cigarettes, multiple piercings and jumping over walls to get into nightclubs. Gone was the shy, happy good girl who everyone loved.
Soon the docs were replaced by thigh-high stiletto boots, (Which is partly to blame for the title of this blog) instead of piercings I opted for teased hair, black eyeshadow, silk gloves and PV dresses. Then developed an insane interest in literature and philosophy: sophistication in the world of old, red carpeted night clubs, mirrors on the ceiling and a family of pseudo friends to talk to in the bathrooms.

Wonderful and exciting days. Between now and then I am not sure what has happened. The stilettos still have a place in my cupboard and I still smile to myself when I see a young girl walking very self consciously in a public place, awkwardly wearing her long black skirt and shapeless black T-shirt.

Well it is the start of a New Year and time to embrace this new life which has been thrust suddenly upon me.

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”
Dr. Timothy Francis Leary (22 October 1920 – 31 May 1996)